Jack And His Big Thick Stalk!

High in the clouds is a castle, where the BFG lives, and the F doesn’t stand for friendly!

Down below a village lives in fear, no one wants to become the Giant’s next meal! Amongst them, Dame Tess Tickles and her family are struggling to make ends meet, they are forced into sending their beloved cow, Butterslut, to markets.

After tricking Jack and Jill into selling Butterslut, for a bag of beans, Creepy Bastard, The Giant’s henchman, kidnaps the Squire’s daughter Jill.

Held to ransom, our heroes decide to climb the huge beanstalk, that has grown in the garden, and rescue Jill from the clutches of the evil Giant!

This show is suitable for over 18’s only. It contains bad language and sexual references and is not for the easily offended.

Jack And His Big Thick Stalk, An Adult Pantomime script available for licensing.

CAST AND CHARACTERS

Jack Tickles - Principal Boy
The hero of the show, in love with the Squires daughter.
Jill Friggingskint - Principle Girl
A lovely young girl, in love with Jack, gets kidnapped by the Giant.
Tess Tickles - Dame
A local farmer, broke but loves everyone.
Dame Dixie Normous
The house keeper at the palace, sex mad, kind at heart and did I say sex mad?
Silly Billy Tickles - Fool
Dame Tess’s Daft son, always getting into bother.
Squire Friggingskint
The local squire, petrified of the Giant.
Creepy Bastard - Villian
The Giant’s evil henchman, he’s a right creepy bastard!
Fairy Clit Tingle - Good Imortal
The fairy of the land, who pops up to help our hero here and there.
Butterslut - Panto Animal
Butterslut the Dame’s cow, too scared by the Giant to milk.
Giant - Big F*cking Giant
The Giant, never seen, often heard, can be recorded v/o or off stage actor.

Scene Breakdown

Act 1

Scene 1
Prologue

Creepy Bastard gets his orders from the Giant, but will Fairy Clit Tingle be able to stop their plans?
Scene 2
Dame tess’s Kitchen

It’s milking Time for Butterslut, but will she produce any milk, or is she too scared of the Giant, or maybe it’s all the sex toys distracting her.
Scene 3
The Road To Market

Poor Butterslut is off to market, when a stranger offers a bag of gold for her, too good to be true?
Scene 4
Dame Tess’s Kitchen

Jack has been conned, Jill has been kidnapped, what else can go wrong, and it’s out the window for the manky beans.

Act 2

Scene 1
Village Square – With Beanstalk

A beanstalk has grown, just were the bag of beans landed, a way to rescue Jill has been found.
Scene 2
The Giant’s Castle

The race is on to find Jill, before Creepy Bastard or the Giant discover our hero in the castle.
Scene 3
Village Square – With Beanstalk

With Jill rescued the beanstalk needs to be chopped down before the Giant reaches the ground.
Scene 4
The Giant’s Castle

Community song sheet (Optional)
Scene 5 - Community Song
The Giant’s Castle

Walkdown – Finale